Heist
by Supernatural Crossover Girl
Summary: She was a thief, plain and simple. But her best heists where those she kept. SI OC


**Title: **Heist

**Summary: **She was a thief, plain and simple. But her best heists where those she kept. SI OC

* * *

She was an Uchiha.

She had two ninja parents, and she was to be just like them.

Of course, things didn't go like planned. She blames it on her memories of a past life.

And because she found it boring, being all gunho. She did like the stealth though!

-0-

As soon as the stupid war was over, she retired and then faked her death. That was the easy part- the hard part was figuring out how to become a thief again, she missed the thrill.

-0-

She gained a name for herself, being a thief for hire. She found a bingo book with her name in it, B-Rank.

She then went and stole a pretty bauble from the Fire Lord's Wife. She was A-Rank the next time she looked in a book.

That was awesome.

-0-

Her best heists weren't ones she gave away, but those she kept. She found a nice little cave in Wave she put seals up around to hide herself completely. She hid in it her pretty baubles, ones she found interesting and fun.

But her greatest heists… well…

-0-

The first was Kabuto. She'd been walking by the spot when she spotted him crying over Nonou.

Part of her thought she should have just killed him and been done with it, but the other part… well…

Kabuto was a good kid, creepy as fuck and fully deserving of the title _holyshithesfuckedup _but a good kid.

She pulled a great heist when she took him in. She screwed over Sasori, Danzo and Orochimaru.

She felt very accomplished.

-0-

Kabuto tended to travel with her, a lot. She let him do his experiments and whatnot, as long as no children where involved was her rule, but he preferred to tag along with her while she stole stuff. He was the one who found out she was an Uchiha, when she used her eyes to copy a code for a locking mechanism.

He was also there when she killed her younger sibling by accident, and activated the Mangeyoku.

It's a funny thing- while you do have to be close to the person you kill, it doesn't have to be in friendship or love. It can just be a sibling. But he was there when she cried her eyes out about it.

-0-

Her next huge heist was an accident- seriously it was! She was in Iwa, stealing some stupid statue- who gives a fuck about a damned toad like thing anyway?- when Deidara runs into her.

She leaves the next day with him tagging along. Kabuto didn't mind, since Deidara didn't mind being experimented on a bit, as long as they wouldn't kill him or affect his ability to make art.

-0-

Deidara was annoying- he had no idea how to be subtle- but he was a good distraction. He quite enjoyed it himself, and Kabuto actually seemed to enjoy blowing things up to- mostly so he could take notes about it.

-0-

The next heist was not an accident. She'd planned for it, actually. After Deidara and Kabuto, why not?

When she appeared with Gaara under her arm, his forehead bleeding from his self-inflicted tattoo, she announced him as their new brother, and went off.

When she came back, Deidara was trying to make bombs out of sand, and Kabuto was conducting experiments to see what Gaara could block. The boy was just grumpy. Well, that would change.

-0-

Gaara called her mama a month later, and Deidara picked it up with a grin. She let the brats, and then made them pose as a pedophile and the victim as she snuck into a Noble's House to steal a statue.

They were put out when they learned she just wanted it for herself, not to sell.

-0-

Her next heist was a weird one- she stole two shinobi.

Zabuza and Haku had been added to her weird family when she ran into Zabuza while he was killing the owner of the mansion she was targeting. She blinked, shrugged, stole everything and left. Deidara had found Haku and both were talking about being misgendered all the time.

Zabuza tried to leave, but she dragged him to her client's place so he could get paid half.

The two never left.

-0-

Her cave in Wave got used a lot more, now with caves built into the mountain so people could have their own rooms. She found it peaceful, and nice.

Zabuza and she would go out on missions- dragging a brat or two, but they often returned.

When Dediara and Gaara- little brat was too much like Deidara now, with his seal all fixed up by Kabuto so he could sleep, he was way more happy and cheerful- asked if they were married, she happily made Deidara pretend to be a woman, with Gaara being the bratty son.

Zabuza just tried to kill them.

-0-

The nest heist was two again- Lee and Tenten where good kids. She didn't mean to take them, it just… it just happened.

She didn't mind, they got along with everyone well.

She just wished that Lee was not copying Zabuza so much, and that Tenten would not encourage Deidara.

-0-

"You know, you have just completed the requirements for a Hidden Village."

"Bullshit."

"Not at all. A jonin, a chunin-"

"You're at jonin level."

"True, but schematics. A bloodline, and three kids who can be genin."

"…"

"What kind of Kage are you?"

"Fuck off, I ain't a kage."

Of course, she ended up taking the title, and announcing herself as a Kage when Gato tried to take over Wave. Being known as Namikage kinda sucked though.

At least she could still sneak out to steal shit though.

-0-

Her next heist was Kankuro and Temari, who both had suffered under their father's anger at loosing Gaara. The two were relieved to see him alive, and ended up just joining the family.

She was happy when Kankuro and Tenten began designing new weaponry for defenses, it was quite fun.

-0-

She went blind a year after grabbing Kankuro and Temari. She didn't mind to much, just dealt with it, wearing a piece of cloth over her eyes. The others were horrified.

She just ended up making her cave giant, used her baubles to make it nice, made more caves into houses, ended up getting Tazuna and his family in her village because she found a river going through the mountain, and needed a bridge, and Inari joined her academy… which was run by Deidara, Kabuto and Zabuza.

Hey, it worked… and they kinda ended up being some of the most destructive genin ever, so whatever.

-0-

Stealing from Danzo was fun… and Sai was plain awesome when paired with Deidara and Gaara, so that had to happen.

-0-

Karin was next, but she looked so lonely! She couldn't help it!

But hey, it was fun. She helped Kabuto in their little medical unit, and rounded out the teams better. Haku was not a genin by any means, so she just declared him a chunin and stuck the redhead on the 'genin' team of Lee and Tenten. The three work well together, Tenten using her weapons skills, Lee using his taijutsu, and kenjutsu taught to him by Zabuza who decided to make him the heir to his sword, and Karin using her sensor skills and her healing ability.

The Sand Trio are just awesome, and She takes a bunch of pride in it. They are her best heists after all.

-0-

"Why the fuck do you want to be known as Doukutsukure?"

"Well… aren't we hidden in a cave?"

"… It's a shit name." But it stuck, and she had to put up with it.

Least it wasn't to bad…

-0-

She ended up accepting diplomats into her village awhile later. It was hilarious seeing the reactions of the Mist guys. Sand made a huge fuss about the Sand kids until she told them that she didn't care since they were technically orphans- some stupid as fuck law in Suna that states no Kazekage can legally be acknowledged as a father.

Iwa… they didn't care much, Cloud, Lightning and all the others were just polite. She managed to declare herself neutral- but admitted she may go and steal shiny things from time to time when bored. Hope they didn't mind!

They didn't- a kleptomaniac was fine, she wasn't a war monger. As long as she didn't steal to much, they didn't care.

* * *

Might make this a big story. Twas fun writing. And it would just be a laugh: A thief becoming a Kage by accident, much to the amusement of her annoying second in command- cause Zabuza is not a man you put in command, all of his ideas end in 'kill them all'. And no one cares she steals stuff, she's better then that new Kage from Oto!

And she ends up being the mom of like the entire village, and she just puts up with it, and then she ends up having the entire town that Inari, Tsunami and Tazuna are from end up in her village and she just sighs. She knew it.


End file.
